Lessons learned…and learning

Does one ever reach a point in life when you feel entirely capable and qualified to accomplish what you're called to do?   I've struggled so much with feelings of inadequacy and incompetence here.  Philippians 4:13 often comes to mind when I get down on myself, as well as 2 Corinthians 12:9 – My grace is sufficient for you because my power is made perfect in weakness.  I know that anything productive that is accomplished by these hands is from above.  

I tend to relate to Martha in the Bible – the one who seeks to be busy and finds her self-worth in doing something.   Recently, I received a copy of an interview with Rick Warren in the mail where he talked about becoming too task-oriented.  He said, "God did not put me on this earth to fulfill a to-do list.   He's more concerned about what I am than what I do.  That's why we're called human beings, not human doings." This concept has been freeing as I've struggled some days with finding enough work to keep me busy.  When that happens, I feel like a failure and go back to the inadequate and incompetent section again.   I pray daily for wisdom and guidance to see the needs around me, particularly with regards to the garden and fruit trees that I've been brought here to take care of.   But I also don't want to neglect the importance of relationships with the people here and sharing Christ's love.

Ultimately, our worth comes from God and not man.  I've heard this numerous times throughout my life, but I still strive for approval from man.   Several weeks ago, I was blessed to encounter a couple visiting Project Mercy who share a special gift of praying for individuals and receiving special insight and revelation from God about the individual.   They prayed for me and then shared what God revealed to them.  Through that experience, it finally hit home to me that I am uniquely created by God and have a specific role to fill in His kingdom.   There's no need to strive for acceptance from man because God has already accepted me.  It's still nice to have confirmation from others for a job well-done, but my self-worth doesn't depend on that.  

So to all you people-pleasers like me, remember our primary purpose in this life.  Keep it all in perspective, and your load will be much lighter!

            It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own.   Our

            qualification comes from God.                                    2 Corinthians 3:5