Haiti

News from Haiti is quickly disappearing out of the mainstream media, but Haiti's not fading out of my mind.  The whole situation is beyond comprehension for any of us. Many of us knew Haiti...knew that it was the poorest country in the western hemisphere.  For those who know nothing about Haiti, now they do.  But for myself personally, it's brought to the forefront issues that I never resolved from my time spent there nearly 5 years ago.  Those three months were some of the toughest of my entire life.  It wasn't homesickness and was not necessarily culture shock...it was something much bigger that I had never before experienced.  Only years later reflecting on the time can I recognize that I was experiencing spiritual warfare firsthand.  This was a totally foreign concept. But looking back, there were multiple things that happened that I can only attribute to this... I struggled with language, my legs were covered in some sort of rash that none of the long-term missionaries there had ever seen before, I got very little rest at night, having nightmares and waking up with a back ache every morning.  It was a really dark time for me, and caused me to question whether God was really calling me to be there or to do anything internationally.
All that to say, it tainted my view of Haiti. Not necessarily the people as a whole, because I met some of the most wonderful, sincere, humble, joyful people there.  But as a nation, I think I did see it as cursed.  Voo doo is real. We heard the drumming of worship services go all through the night.  And there are many who identify themselves as Christians while holding value in witch doctors and believing that people could place curses on one another if they were wronged.  It's difficult to overcome these superstitions that are so deeply embedded in the culture.
The news of the earthquake and subsequent responses of different people trying to answer the "why" question caused me to repent of this view I held of Haiti as a cursed nation that had become so dependent on foreign aid that they were enslaved in their own country.  I still maintain that the level of aid in the country before the earthquake was so high and in the grand picture, there was little to show for it.  However, in the Central Plateau, we got to build some relationships and see how people live. They didn't have much but they had everything.  They had a tight-knit community that was an extension of their family, they had enough to eat, most had access to primary education, and many knew Christ.  And the missionaries Daphne and I had the privilege of working with did a fantastic job of empowering the people in this small community to lead and dream and live fuller lives.
And so, watching the news reports of people worshiping in the immediate aftermath of the earthquake broke me.  Hearing from a Haitian lady here at Fuller whose extended family is still there say that her people are strong and that things were improving before the earthquake...this broke me.  Finding out that one of the boys Daphne and I knew during our time there - Fabneau, a bright young guy who played the accordian for the men's choir his father led, and who had gone to the capital for university - was killed when his house collapsed...broke me.  And now hearing about acquaintances with medical training who are going/have been there to serve in any way they can share of what they are seeing/doing - lots of amputations, bandaging wounds, loving frightened children...it's still breaking me.  And I pray that God will continue to break open my heart to increase my capacity to love...and not just for Haitians, but for anyone experiencing oppression, loss of physical needs, loss of loved ones, and loss of dignity.
I want to go back to Haiti...mostly to serve my brothers and sisters there in any way I can...but also partly to bring greater healing and resolution to this judgment I've harbored for the past several years.  Whether or not I go, I am so grateful that God has made it known that He has not cursed this nation, that He is still present, and that He loves each precious child.
I do continue to pray that this rebuilding can be done in a way that will restore some dignity to the people of Haiti, that it will be on their terms and not determined by foreign influences.  I pray for cooperation amongst all the NGOs to invest wisely and to be servants first. I pray for Thy will to be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

If you'd like to read more from Haiti, here's the blog of the organization I worked with: http://haffdetails.blogspot.com/